Thursday, April 14, 2005

Golden Slumber

After fruitless days spent in fruitless pursuits, I am finally writing again in blog. Easter has come and gone, one of the greatest persons has come to terms with his mortality – at least in flesh but not in his deeds (which I am planning to write an article later), and I had my bouts of paranoia about my own mortality – yup, I got hospitalized just a week ago and succumbed to tonciloparyngitis (never mind the spelling). In 3 weeks I slipped in golden slumber, and I was not able to write anything – though I have so many things in mind. Maybe I just don’t have the medium. I don’t have a computer in my house since I rested for a week after my discharge from the hospital, but heck, there are lots of computer/internet cafes lurking in every street corner possible. Or I have been just been very busy serving as serf to my masters in modern capitalist master-slave relationship, but, there are time available if one focuses on it – pag gusto dami paraan!. Or maybe am just too lazy to punch the keys in the past weeks!

Whatever, but I did enjoy my 1 week rest, free from my bondage and was it great that I really had a hard time dragging myself back to the office. When one tastes freedom, it leaves its aroma in your mouth long enough that u get hook to it. Like a cigarette smoke after a fine meal. But reality crushed the idyll dream, and after a week I am hustling my way to the dungeon and trying to beat daily that 8:00 o’clock scourge. Hay nako, whence a rebel resided, now only full of resignation, pathetically appendage to the machines and to the whims of his demigods. Whence a repository of ideas, now a stagnant caricature not unlike a stale water in a stinking estero. Whence a warrior for words, now reduced to writing dense business correspondence and memorandum, and analyzing structures suited for the masters of universe in this fucking capitalist, consumerist society. Whence a non conformist, now a cretin licking asses to preserve the superficial stature his society has bestowed to him. The litany never ends so I just quote Billy Corgan – “despite all my rage, I’m still a rat in a cage.” Too bad, this boy who has penchant for spontaneity, for anything alternative, and sometimes who borders on self-destruction – has been thrust to live a structured life (what an irony, he is now with structured products desk, life’s truly a joke hahahhaha, and I’m the only one laughing?). The man who prefers dark music, poetry and ideas with no commercial value has been lumped in the company of angst-free, competitive and corporate creatures.

Again, work is beckoning, so I have to continue this reckoning.

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