Thursday, July 28, 2005

Short Musings

Surely comrade Che Guevarra is turning at his grave upon learning that his face is now a powerful brand designed for mass marketing to reap enormous profits.


Surely Chairman Mao got his paradigm and contradictions wrong when he was not able to predict that after the socialist experiment, the next stage in societal development is capitalism and beggar thy neighbor economics, if Japan and US is to be believed. Just look where China is right now.


And surely John Lennon is dreaming when he said that life is what happenning when you're planning what you gonna do with it when life is super surrealist in this magic realist country, where right is wrong and wrong is right. No matter, let's just move on and forget this lapse in judgement.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Note on a pencil (made in Vietnam)

When you really like someone,
tell her
Sometimes you only get one chance.
Tang na mo, di mo ko pinatulog. Ngaun lang ako napagbintangan ng ganun. Lapit na nga kitang idemanda.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Motherfucker

It was in barbie's cradle's yahoo group that started it all. I hve since held you in high respect, I even consider you one of my few friends whom I can relate, and who can relate to me. Even though we never met. I admire your decision to teach streetchildren which i even told you is very elemental but important for them to get out from their present haplessness. You are influential in my discovery of the wonders of the blog world. And to think we only correspond once in awhile, almost once a month, and dropping by just to say hellos and all. Or some life stuff like your marriage plan or my existential angst.
But that is all shattered this morning when i received a call from your fiance accussing me of harrsing you on the phone. That i even asked you to SOP. What is that, i asked your fiance, and it turned out it was sex on the phone. I was seething with rage of having been accused of such baseless and tasteless stuff that i immediately called you, and to my surprise, like life immitating surrealism, u told me twas last Friday or Monday that i -- Roy -- called you and made such adavnces over the phone.
What utter nonsense!!!! Friday and Saturday, i was in Bulacan with my family, and my house for that matter doesn't have a phone installed. Cell phone? - i have just lost my cell phone 2 weeks ago and yet to exhaust the 50 free text messages i got from my new SIM card.And its not in my personality to engage in such shameless acts. And to do that to a friend!
And that where it hurts. You just judged me and acccused and believed that i could do such thing. Whether somebody's pulling tricks on me or you're just pulling some trips, i don't care. What i care is my reputation. What i care is that u are not the person i thot u are. In fact u'r the exact opposite. What i care is that i'm losing my fate in the aristotelian philosophy that man isbasically good in nature. That even if how worse a man is, he has still good qualities instilled inside of him.
Yes you are indeed motherfucker.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I could never express what i have been thinking as clearly as the article below, which appeared in today's PDI issue. Raul Pangalanan, together with Conrado de Quiros and Randy David, has been gifted with the ability of conjuring words like a magician pulling off tricks after tricks. He's one great writer. Since i'm part of the middle class, torn between the lennon-esque attitude, or dream, of the world to be as one, and the demanding side of being a family man in a consumerist society, i can definitely relate. Plus- when i saw him in ANC together with other law deans discussing the garci tape and all in dong puno's show, saludo ako sa iyo. Indeed, what utter shamelessness one has to cling, epoxy-like to boroow e quiros' term, to a post!



Passion For Reason : Starbucks and the class struggle
First posted 00:01am (Mla time) July 22, 2005 By Raul PangalanganInquirer News Service Editor's Note: Published on page A14 of the July 22, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer


WHEN political analysts ask, "Where are the middle forces, they who triumphed at the two Edsas [people power uprisings]?" I am tempted to answer: "At Starbucks, drinking an iced venti latte."
Now, don't get me wrong. I love the coffee they serve at Starbucks, and I give them eternal credit for bringing good decaf beans to Manila, where until then waiters thought that decaf had to be "instant" powder. They are an exemplar of globalization teaching us how much value we are prepared to pay for a well-made product. And, no, I do not insult the great crimson revolution when I suggest that the class struggle that was supposed to be won in the countryside can now be silently waged over the barrista's counter.
It's just that whenever I enter Starbucks and see students sipping P100 cups of cappuccino, I wonder: At the very least, their daily allowance must be P250 (if they squeeze snacks, lunch and transportation in the "sukli" [change]), which must be larger than the daily food budget
of entire families in this country, where I am told there is a high estimate of four million families eating less than three meals a day, and those meals consist mainly of noodles from Lucky Me and Payless. This suggests the mindset of the so-called middle forces, to which I suppose a university teacher like me belongs.
One: We have been numbed to absolute levels of poverty. Normally we as human beings recoil when we see fellow humans eating off trashcans, where one man's refuse becomes another family's feast. We should be shocked to see slum dwellers, women bathing on busy city streets with barely a "tapis" [wraparound] to lend them a veneer of privacy and dignity. There is a line, a standard of decency, below which human beings cannot live. When that line is crossed, it is we who stand idly by who must feel chastised. It is our shame, not the garbage man's or the bathing woman's. The next time you have visitors from abroad, imagine what goes on in their minds: My host dresses well, sounds decent, eats in classy places -- but if he can passively accept the surrounding squalor, there must be something wrong with him if he feels no pangs of conscience over spending P100 for coffee that would feed a family a good meal.
Two: We have been numbed to huge gaps between rich and poor. Assume that outside the Starbucks window there is a "taho" [soybean meal] or "balut" [boiled duck embryo] vendor (my, I'm exposing my gourmet tastes here). Do the latte-sippers ever wonder how much these guys earn for each P10 cup of taho, or each P9 aborted duck fetus? I pose no indictment of the truly rich, who after all have brought philanthropy down to a science, but of the new or middle rich, who assume a Darwinian sense of triumph over those they have left behind. It is the sense of "K"-the sense that they have earned the right to enjoy the fruits of their labors-that deadens their conscience.
Third: We have been numbed into doing nothing. Life has become so complicated that doing good -- something that should come naturally to all of us, I hasten to assure you -- becomes so difficult. So you care about those kids peddling in the streets at night under the rain? Buy sampaguita at P10 a shot. Your car smells good, you use non-allergenic, organic fragrance -- but wait, your smart son tells you, aren't the children being exploited by syndicates? That's what Teacher said in school!
So you want to help the poor by paying your taxes? But there are aspiring Jose Pidals waiting in the wings to get their two cents' worth and much, much more. So you want to give to an NGO? But haven't they earned enough with their Peace Bonds?
We shun government because it is corrupt. We shun organizations because we find them shallow and, in their own ways, self-serving. We end up turning inward, yet before long we realize the limits of individual striving. There was a time when conspicuous luxuries caused a bit more discomfort in Third World settings. It requires a sense of oneness, of empathy, with those who cannot afford, and a sense of conserving and giving by those who can. That organic bond has been shattered. Globalization, for instance, has attuned the educated Filipino to cultivated tastes and standards abroad. Contrast the full nutritional information available for foreign goods, and that available for, say, taho or fish balls. Contrast too the prices; we do not bat an eyelash at paying more than P100 for coffee (for which prices are globally fixed) while inflation pushes the cost of local balut by timid P1 increments because it is limited to a local market (but just you wait until it goes international with "Fear Factor").
It is the restoration of that communal sense that I think the middle forces seek. They have not found it in any of the political movements that have presented themselves. Nations, scholars say, are "imagined communities," and the danger is that some caudillo will rise to embody for us the sense of nation that we have imagined for ourselves.
By golly, writing this will really change my life. From now on, each time I go to Starbucks, I will savor each sip of cappuccino with an extra shot of caffeine, but make sure I do so with more guilt. That beats walking on my knees in church with my arms outstretched, and I can even become a truly medieval Catholic without calloused knees, though it might lead to a calloused heart.

Routing Sleep

Each day seems no different. I have to wake up at the crack of dawn, drag myself up and away from the bed, which, like a hot chick with an omniscient brain in skimpy attire, seems to entice me with a lustful glee. Staggering towards the dining room, I untie myself from this engulfing sleep, home to my reveries and my refuge from day to day angst. I have to drown myself on a cup of coffee – black and abrasive, like me, I think and smirk with these thoughts. Running against a supersonic time, I finish my coffee since the throne is waiting for my morning visit. I have to rush everything as my service will drop anytime soon to pick me up. Rushing has these side effects of forgetting important things I have to bring with me. But, I never mind. I don’t want to plan, I believe in spontaneity, in natural-ness of things! But i don't wanna be late either. Yesterday, it was too embarrassing that they have to wait for me, and besides, I hate being late for work – I have to beat the 8:00 am scourge. But come to think of it, time seems to fly too swiftly that I rush things to beat the 8 am deadline, only to rue the slowness of time afterwards. Life’s truly ironic? Or do I just need a couple of sleeps?

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Shorter of breath.

The depth of my life

Is to shallow even

For a fish to live.

Closer to death.

But still dearth of

Any meaning.

Give me one please.

That silence.

Chosen.

Silence because one has to.

Or so I thought.

Now silence because of choice.

Silence because the essence has forgotten.

Foregoing freedom and be silent about it.

When freedom is sought, I cannot speak anymore

The words to freedom!

PARADOX OF DISTANCE

You’re so close to me

I can hear your measured breath

I can count the strands of your hair

I can even smell the exquisite smell of your body --

Only your body can emit. Unmistakable.

Yet you’re so far away, far away

You’re such as phantom

My subterfuge,

Elusive, evasive

You leave a sense of hope

And hopelessness

Enough to remind me

Of my mortality.

Your presence, I feel

But you’re distant.

LAGIM

LATAY NG LATIGO NG KAPALARAN

NAPADPAD SA BAOG NA KALUPAAN

SALAT NGA BA SA PAGPIPILIAN

O GINAWANG PAYASO NG KALIKASAN

KAPIT SA PATALIM

BUHAY NA MADILIM

NAAGNAS NG LIHIM

NABABAON NG MALALIM

PANO MAKIPAGTUTUOS SA TADHANA

UURIN NA ANG KALULUWA BASTA MASAGANA?

TITIGIL KAYA NG MUNDO KUNG TUTUPDIN

ANG HILIG NG PUSO, ANG PINAPANALANGIN?

BAWAT ARAW NAGIGING MOOG

NAWALAN NA NG GUSTO, ISIPA’Y SABOG

SALAT SA REPLEKSYON, UTAK NA BAOG

KINALISKISAN NG LIBOG

MAKAPAGSUSULAT PA BA KUNG SALITA’Y KULANG

NAKABABANAAG BA ANG MATANG NAKAPIRING

DI KO ALAM

DI KO ALAM.